Mom forces 16-year-old daughter to get a job to support the family after her husband lost his job: 'Why can your daughter get a job but not your husband?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 13, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Mom and Dad should consider taking on multiple jobs before placing the responsibility of supporting the household on their teenage daughter. 

Some teenagers feel like they're ready for adult responsibilities, even when they're really not. They think that because they have a part-time job and can pay for their own gas and fast food, they're ready to take on the world on their own. The reality is that, in general, no minor can properly take care of themselves, even if they are an exceptionally responsible teenager who values hard work and independence. 

Teens should still rely on their parents, even if that reliance drives them crazy. They are not responsible enough to contribute to the family unit in the same way their parents did. A teenager doesn't choose the family they were born into or the number of siblings they have, so they shouldn't have the burden of being a breadwinner for their family. Look at the outcomes of child stars who were forced into a breadwinner role far too early. They often struggle in adulthood and resent their parents for taking the money they made as a child laborer and using it to fund their extravagant lifestyle.

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  • A woman sitting on the floor with her legs crossed
    via Ricardo Santanna

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The parents in this story are ridiculous. The dad has lost his job, and instead of taking whatever work he can get for the time being, he and his wife want their teenage daughter to get a weekend job to help support the family. 

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my teen daughter she needs to get a job?

    *throwaway account My husband and I have always lived a stable life with 2 children, 16F (I'II call her Amanda) and 12M (I'll call him James).
    via u/throwaway388218
  • However, my husband lost his job, which was hard on a lot of the family.
    via u/throwaway388218
  • My husband has been searching for a job but it's been difficult for him, and we have been a bit behind on bills recently and have been reaching out to family for support.
    via u/throwaway388218
  • A man and woman sitting at a table looking at papers
    via Oleg Ivanov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My 16 y/o daughter has always grown up in a good environment, she's gotten everything she's wanted and me and my husband have loved her unconditionally.
    via u/throwaway388218
  • However, in these tougher times we've been drawing apart since me and my husband have been so busy focusing on work and having to cut back on spending.
    via u/throwaway388218
  • Amanda is not a spoiled brat and is okay with having to sacrifice shopping trips etc.
    via u/throwaway388218
  • A woman carrying a stack of boxes in her arms
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It would be hard for my husband and I to pay all the bills and Amanda is old enough to get at least a weekend job, so this week I brought up the topic of how she should get a job to help us because it's been hard for the family and for my husband and I to provide for both of our children.
    via u/throwaway388218
  • However, that idea did not sit well with her at all and it grew into an argument.
    via u/throwaway388218
  • She argued I was ruining her teenage years and that she already has work, though most days I see her on the couch or on her phone.
    via u/throwaway388218
  • I wouldn't tell her in any other situation, but we really need the help in the house and I've told Amanda that she really needs to step up and help our family, to which she replied on how "it's not her fault her parents can't provide for their own children" which really got me.
    via u/throwaway388218
  • My husband thinks I should let it go but I believe Amanda is being extremely selfish, AITA?
    via u/throwaway388218
  • Edit: okay okay I get it, I'm the AH
    via u/throwaway388218
  • thecatinthemask INFO: If Amanda can find a job, why can't your husband? [edit] It doesn't appear OP will reply, so I have to say YTA. If there are jobs in your area for Amanda, then there are jobs for your husband (or you, for that matter). If your family's basic needs are not being met, he needs to stop waiting around for a job he likes and take any job available.
    via u/thecatinthemask
  • DryadsAndSeaNymphs YTA. It would be one thing if she wanted a job to support her lifestyle. But asking her to her a job to help support the household at 16 is totally unacceptable to me. That is not her responsibility as she is still a child. It is your responsibility to provide for her. Sometimes things get hard. You do what you have to to survive. But that shouldn't include asking your 16 year old to work and provide for the household. Edit: even if she did get a job, you would not be entitled
    via u/DryadsAndSeaNymphs
  • myshellly YTA. She's a child and it is not her responsibility to support the household.
    via u/myshellly
  • Open-Possibility-723 YTA. A kid getting a job to have a car, to go out with friends to shop, to save up etc makes total.sense. as an obligation to help support the family, not okay. If she got a job and offered MAYBE okay (but personally i think no still). But it isn't something you should ask her ever. The whole thing makes me uncomfortable. It's your job as parents to provide for your household. You pay the bills and if she wants extras or has a car (she can pay gas and insurance etc) she can
    via u/Open-Possibility-723
  • mariners02 Info: why can your daughter get a job but not your husband?
    via u/mariners02
  • YTA albert_cake If she gets a job, it's for her own spending and for learning to manage her own money. If she's happy to forgo the "extras" like shopping trips and things beyond the necessities, then that's fine. If she was asking for that kind of stuff, then you could say "hey you might want to get a job to pay for all the fun spending, as we can't afford any extras right now". She's a minor and you're financially responsible for her and her brothers basic needs right now, food, housing, clothi
    via u/albert_cake
  • Glum_Truck_724 YTA YTA YTA YTA It's not you teen daughter's responsibility to provide. That's you and your husband's as parents. Even if she did work, that money should belong to her and her only. Furthermore, if your daughter would be able to find a job with no experience, it would make no sense that your husband can't. Your kids are not supposed to provide for you, that's your job
    via u/Glum_Truck_724
  • SugarFreeBeef Have Amanda get a job, then hand the job over to your husband. YTA
    via u/SugarFreeBeef
  • Diylion YTA. It is never your teenage daughters responsibility to financially support the family you created. That's your job and you and your husband's responsibility. End of story. If your teen decides to get a job, encourage her to put it in an investment account for her later.
    via u/Diylion
  • Golden Jaguar 1995 YTA. Your kid ain't a spoiled child; she just wants to have her own life and what she wants to do. You're saying that she as the child should work to pay for your bills? What the hell? She's right. You are ruining her teenage years; she's a fucking kid. She shouldn't have to worry about paying bills until at least 18.
    via u/GoldenJaguar1995

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